When Worlds Collide -- REALLY Collide
“. . .Wait!”
“I just realized something. There’s still a loophole that needs to be closed.”
“What are you talking about?”
I’m confused too, Clockwork. Incidentally, mind letting me out of the closet?
“In a minute. We’re essentially resetting the world by deleting this fic, right? No one will remember this incident, none of this will have ever happened.”
“Yes. Isn’t that what we’re trying to do?”
“Yes, but it just occurred to me – returning things to exactly the way they were at the beginning of the fic still leaves Jack with a way out of Hell.”
“Oh, God, you’re right! That won’t do at all! What if she gets another brilliant idea about letting him out?”
I don’t think this one was all that brilliant. Especially since it led to you guys staging a freaking revolt on me. And locking me in a closet. Jack can burn for eternity for all I care.
“Which is a good attitude, but our leading a revolt was predicated on your characters’ ability to surprise you and take stories in new directions. Who’s to say Jack wouldn’t try to pull the same trick? After all, hateful bastard that he is, he’s still one of yours.”
Don’t remind me. So what do you want me to do?
“Seal off his way out. Rewrite the beginning of the fic so that he never makes it through that portal – or perhaps never finds it in the first place.”
Sooo, basically, undo the entire fic in a way that ensures it can never be redone.
“That sounds about right.”
After I spent how much time working on it?
“You couldn’t come up with an ending! After – you know what, I don’t even want to know how many years it took.”
“Please, Vic, this is a much better resolution. You don’t have to worry about everyone’s mental scars, nobody was unnecessarily hurt. . . .”
“Listen to Tie-Twister, Vic. We’ll all be much happier if this fic technically never happened.”
All right, all right. God knows I’m kind of sick of working on it. Those fight scenes at the end always worked better in my head anyway.
“Good. I’ll let you out of the closet now – but no funny business.”
You smashed my window, what makes you think I’m going to try any funny business. Besides, I think I’ve thought up an even better way to handle Jack. . . .
The Timeless Dimension of Hell
A creeping darkness invading through the doorway reminded Jack that he didn’t have much time. Throwing the cloak over himself, he looked up to see nameplates saying where each portal went. He skimmed them rapidly – JACK, Kevin and Kell, Dan and Mab’s, Rose Potter (that bint had her own universe?), Girl Genius, Back To The Future Trilogy –
That last one! Jack remembered his last adventure in his mortal life, where he’d passed through a portal in the clock tower. Into a world where he and his entire hometown only existed as something out of a movie. The movie had been called Back To The Future! Jack grinned – that was the one!
The darkness grew larger, forming a shadow creature of some sort. Without a second thought, Jack threw himself at the portal.
Only to feel something suddenly slam into him from the other direction. He fell backwards, blinking in confusion. What had that –
And suddenly, he remembered getting out, getting allies, collecting a whole plethora of Martys and tormenting their various versions of Emmett, crash-landing in Wonderland, meeting – no, that blond-haired bitch couldn’t have been –
Oh yes I can, a voice suddenly whispered inside of his head. And I’ve decided that the best punishment for you would be to know you just might have succeeded – if any of that had ever happened.
“What?” he blurted, unable to help himself. “How--”
Story’s been erased from existence, bubba, thanks to the intervention of one version of your brother and one of his friends. We’re back at the beginning, when you should have gotten through that portal. But now. . .enjoy eternity, asshole.
Oh no. No. This – this wasn’t – “THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he roared up at the ceiling. “I’M BETTER! I KNOW I AM!”
“NOT BETTER THAN ME.”
Too late, Jack remembered just who he’d been running from. Before he could make the slightest scream, dark tentacles practically mummified him, and dragged him away from the portal room. He struggled mightily, screaming out curses against all who had wronged him. This could not be – THIS COULD NOT BE –
“YES IT CAN,” the Devil’s voice whispered in his ear. “PATHETIC HUMAN –
WELCOME TO HELL.”